Discussion Questions for All Novels
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Speak 2. What is Friendship?
2. What is Friendship? Describe the important elements of Melinda’s relationships with Heather, Ivy, Nicole, and Rachel. Is she ever really friends with any of them? Can friendship mean something different to different people? Cite different passages in the novel as evidence of your opinion.
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Throughout the novel, Melinda never really acquired any real friends. Heather was new to school so she has no friends either. Trying to become friends with Melinda, Melinda refused. Melinda enjoyed her company though and seemed sad when Heather told her they were no longer friends. Heather was Melinda’s only chance at a friend her freshman year. Another “friend” Ivy, who took Art with Melinda, was one of the few that wanted to talk to her. When Melinda decided to speak up about Andy Evans, Ivy agreed he was as bad as she described. Melinda did not tell her about Andy raping her though. Ivy and Melinda became better “friends” throughout the Art class. Rachel on the other hand wanted nothing to do with Melinda. After Melinda called the cops at a before school party, Rachel hasn't spoken to her at all. Previously being best friends, Melinda was upset that Rachel didn't want to be her friend. Rachel didn't know what actually happened at the party. Melinda tries to tell her that Andy is bad, but Rachel refuses to believe her because she thinks she is jealous. Rachel has no trust for Melinda but you can tell that Melinda still cares about her. Nicole is another former friend of Melinda. Nicole, as well as everyone else, avoids Melinda because she is a social outcast. Nicole only spoke to Melinda when they played tennis in gym. The only thing Melinda and her have in common is sports. Nicole, in the end along with her lacrosse team, save Melinda from Andy. Knowing the truth about what really happened at the party, the whole school begins to understand helping Melinda gain a few of her friends back. I do not think Melinda was ever really friends with any of them. The way they all reacted to Melinda ruining the party shows no signs of a true friendship. If they were really her friends, they would’ve allowed Melinda to explain herself and try to help her instead of just completely ignoring her. I think that friendships could mean something different to other people. In Heather's case it seemed she only wanted to be friends so she could help her with the posters for “The Martha’s”. Heather comes over to Melinda's house explaining how much she hates “The Martha’s”, and that she needs Melinda’s help to decorate for prom. Melinda “feels bad for Heather” but still refuses to help. I would’ve too. A former friend was just planning to use Melinda to do all the work. I am glad Melinda refused. Heather replies with, “You have to help me.” Melinda responds with, “No I don’t.”(page 179) It was good to see Melinda say no even if she had a chance at another friend. Even though Melinda was avoiding all Freshman year, she learned to stay strong and find out who her real friends were.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sara, when she says, “I do not think Melinda was ever really friends with any of them. The way they all reacted to Melinda ruining the party shows no signs of a true friendship.” This is a true statement. If Rachel was really Melinda’s friend she would have talked to Melinda after the party instead of ignoring her. The group would have asked her what happened rather than hating her. True friends will forgive each other, or at least listen to what one another had to say. I also agree with Sara, when she talks about how Rachel has no trust in Melinda. When Melinda tells Rachel that Andy Evans raped her Rachel doesn’t believe her. Rachel thinks Melinda is only jealous. If they were truly friends before the party, Rachel should have had a little more trust in Melinda, even if she is mad at her.
DeleteAlthough I agree that Melinda’s old friends may not have been “true friends” in the end, I have to disagree with Sara when she says that Melinda was never really friends with anyone in the novel. I do believe that at one point Melinda and Rachel, especially, were friends. Before the summer party that pretty much ruined Melinda’s first year of high school, she and Rachel were best friends. Melinda speaks of a Halloween that she spent with her “group,” and her story sounded like a normal and fun time with friends; it sounded like something I would do with my friends. At the time of the Halloween with her “group,” I am sure that Melinda would consider most of those girls, especially Rachel, her “true friends.” I don’t think that Melinda was ever friends with Heather, just as Sara and Caitlin said. Heather was only friends with Melinda just to make it look like Heather wasn’t a loser which is not something that anybody wants in a good friend. My opinion versus Sara and Caitlin’s opinions is an example of how friendship can mean something different to different people. Continuing about Rachel and Melinda’s relationship, it is difficult to say that Melinda and Rachel were never really friends just because of an extended period of time where Rachel was mad at Melinda. All friends get into fights, especially at this vulnerable, awkward, try-to-fit-in age. That does not particularly mean that they are no longer friends but instead just went through a rough spot. That is my opinion on friendships, but everybody views them differently.
DeleteI disagree with Sara when she says that Melinda had no real friends during school. I believe that Ivy became a true friend. Once she got over the anger, Ivy really cared about Melinda. She encouraged Melinda to create the list about Andy on the bathroom stall and she showed Melinda just how talented she could be at art. While at first Ivy was mad just like everyone else, she was the only one who was able to forgive Melinda before she knew the truth. Ivy had Melinda’s back, just like a true friend should.
DeleteWhen the students arrive on their first day of a new year at Merrywather High School the main character freshman Melinda does not have anything that could be considered akin to friendship. At the beginning of the year, Melinda finds herself friendless and alone because of an incident she caused before the school year even started. It is here that she makes the acquaintance of the new girl Heather. Whatever relationship that Melinda and Heather have it is not that of friendship. Melinda feels as though she is alone in the world, so she pushes anyone who would ever befriend her until it is too late. When she realizes that she does need a friend that friend is gone. Heather, on the other hand, is trying desperately to fit into her new school. She is willing to be friends with anyone trying to work her way up to being popular. She uses Melinda to advance her cause until she decides that Melinda is no longer helpful to her and is weighing her down. Then when she sees that she is in over her head and needs to take advantage of Melinda she is too late. Before the book begins we learn that Ivy, Nicole, and Rachel are Melinda’s main group of friends; Rachel was her best friend, but when the book begins none of them are even speaking to her anymore. The only one of them that warms up to Melinda is Ivy. Ivy is the person that begins to show Melinda that she is not alone and shows her what friendship should be. Other than Melinda’s art teacher Mr. Freeman Ivy is the closest thing to friendship Melinda experiences. Lastly I would like to propose that Mr. Freeman is Melinda’s only real friend throughout the entire novel. From the very beginning Mr. Freeman sees that something is wrong with Melinda and tries to help when no one else will. When everyone else hates her (even other teachers), and her own parents don’t see that something is wrong Mr. Freeman does what he can to help her. In my opinion, this is the truest form of friendship. Most of what we call friendship today is shallow, and superficial at best. A true friend is someone who actually cares about you, someone who is there for the happy times as well as the bad ones, someone who loves you for you no matter what not just loves you for something material like popularity or money, and yes someone who does love you because that’s what friendship is a certain kind of unromantic love for another person. “The greatest thing that you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” -Eden Ahbez.
ReplyDeleteI agree that Mr. Freeman is Melinda's only true friend throughout the book, he in my opinion, helps her to be strong and finally tell what happened. Mr. Freeman encourages Melinda to be open minded and express herself. At first Melinda thinks he is strange, then she becomes somewhat closer to him.
DeleteI like how Mia points out Mr. Freeman as Melinda’s only real friend throughout the novel. I feel as if the source of friendship is such a constricted definition by today’s standards. Children, adolescents, and adults alike are expected to have relationships that would be considered “friends” within members of their own peer group. Melinda’s situation is generally frowned upon- a young girl having a “friendship” with a much older man. However, the term “friend” is appropriate based on the qualities of the relationship between Melinda and Mr. Freeman. As Mia points out, Mr. Freeman offers a safe place and appears to genuinely care about Melinda when nobody else in her life does. A term that is probably more socially acceptable to describe him would be “mentor.” However, I personally believe that “friend” is an appropriate reference. The expectation of friendship and how it is defined today is “shallow, and superficial at best,” as Mia puts it. True friendship, or respective qualities, may be found in unexpected places, as Melinda finds in Mr. Freeman.
ReplyDeleteFriendship can mean different things to different people. To some people it means you have someone who you can confide in. To others it means you have someone to laugh with. To others still a friend could just be someone you talk to a lot. However, all these examples have one thing in common; a friend is someone we have a connection with. They aren’t just someone in the hall, they are someone you know. I think that this applies to all definitions of friends, because if everyone was your friend it would have no meaning.
ReplyDeleteMelinda has relationships with many people, but very few of them are actually friendships. Melinda used to be very good friends with Rachel, but after Melinda called the police Rachel abandoned her. Because Rachel didn’t even give Melinda a chance to explain, I don’t think they were real friends. Real friends stick together no matter what, and you know you can count on them. The second Melinda did something that made her unpopular Rachel cut all ties with her. While I believe they were friends, I don’t think the friendship ran very deep at all.
After she is raped, Melinda has no friends. On the first day of school she meets Heather, and it looks like she might have found a friend. However, Melinda doesn’t seem to enjoy her company, and she makes no moves to become closer to Heather. Then Heather starts to use Melinda to get into the Martha’s, and doesn’t give Melinda any credit. This was never a friendship. Melinda used Heather so she wouldn’t be alone, and Heather used Melinda to increase her social status with the Martha’s.
Nicole, like everyone else, believes Melinda called the cops to get people in trouble. She doesn’t like Melinda because she believes she is a snitch, but her anger ebbs over the year. Nicole and Melinda never really become friends, but Nicole always stands up for what is right. When she found Melinda being attacked by Andy, she stood up for Melinda. While they weren’t friends in the book, I have a feeling that Nicole and Melinda will become closer in the future.
Ivy was the closest thing Melinda had to a friend all year. Ivy got over her anger quicker than most of the other people, and she started to connect with Melinda. When Melinda spilled paint on her shirt, Ivy took her to the bathroom and helped her clean up. She also supported the list Melinda started in the bathroom. Ivy complimented Melinda on her artwork, and gave her some advice. She was what I would call a true friend. Like Nicole, I think Ivy and Melinda will become closer in the future.