Welcome FHS students! Please check your FHS gmail! We'll use this blog to talk about our summer readings. Sign into Google with your Fairview Schools login. Speak, Never Fall Down, and The Age of Miracles discussion questions are all on this page. Scroll down to find each novel's questions. Then, click on Comment link following the questions you wish to answer. Click on the page links on the left to access additional information.
Discussion Questions for All Novels
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Speak: 6: Value and Qualities
6. What should we value in other people? What qualities are important in a person? What do you usually notice first about someone? Does that matter or not?
We should value who the other person is. As individuals we like to be valued and respected. The people in life who aren't valued are usually the people who lack the qualities that we find important. The first thing we usually notice with an individual is their appearance. The appearance shouldn't and really doesn't matter, but often people make it matter. Then these judged individuals don’t feel valued and the cycle repeats over and over again, and each time their appearance gets worse and worse, and they are valued less and less.
If we value who the other person is the outcome will change dramatically. If someone feels valued, qualities like honesty, trust, and security will be apparent. When those qualities show, relationships become healthy and then the other person feels valued. When that person is noticed, they will see the friendly smile and the way the person is carrying himself, and however they look won't matter, because they see the value in that individual. So, rather than the negative cycle I mentioned above, there is now a positive cycle that all started with just valuing who an individual is.
Just to reiterate and conclude this easy: We don't need to valued specific aspects of individual, we just need to value that individual. When that person is valued they will show practically all the qualities that an individual find important. If the first step is done correctly, the negativity i the third and fourth will become null and void.
Nowadays, in my personal opinion, society focuses on the wrong set of values and qualities in a person. People focus too much on the materialistic qualities and values of others, rather than what’s really important. We should value ones company and attitude that, in turn, makes us a better person. Instead of focusing on a persons physical qualities, we should pay attention to what’s inside of them. Qualities such as loving, supporting, and optimistic are ones that we should look for in others. Personally, when I meet someone for the first time, I recognize if they are a person that I’d be happy to be around. If they make me feel good and rub off on me in a positive way, then I’ll gladly spend more time with them.
What you notice first about a person does matter, depending on what you look for first. If you look for physical characteristics first, then that doesn’t matter. A person’s appearance doesn’t reflect what their personality is like. If you first notice ones personality, then that is very important. Though, sometimes you have to look even deeper than someones personality. If they have a “bad attitude” it may be influenced by something not going right in their life. In conclusion, judging someone before you get to know them is not a wise choice to make; and it’s important to choose to like a person based on meaningful inner characteristics.
Shannon has a good point when you say, “ A person’s appearance doesn’t reflect what their personality is like.” Many people often judge a person or don’t really want to get to them just because what they look like. Before you should really decide if you like a person or not, you should get to know their personality; find out who they really are. As Shannon said, “it’s important to choose to like a person based on meaningful inner characteristics.” I agree with you one hundred percent! Basing someones personality on how they look could give you the wrong impression of how they really are. You may be right, but get to know someone first. First impressions may be important, but it is the future impressions that make other people see who you really are inside
I believe that we should value who people really are and accept them for being their own individual self. I do not think its fair to judge people on the value of appearances. I understand that it is hard for people not to judge one another on their physical appearance, but I blame this completely on our society and what it has become. In the society we are living in, everyone is expected to be and look "perfect" thanks to the continuous media pressures, social networking, celebrities, and pressures from our very own peers. I however, do not think this is right. I think we should value one another on being themselves and expressing their own personality. In my opinion, I think the most important qualities in someone is that they are a nice and genuine person. Other important qualities include honesty, being respectful, true, and friendly to everyone. I find one of the worst qualities in people is when they try to be or act like someone they are not. When I first meet someone, the first thing I normally notice is the facial expressions they give. If people look happy and smile while I first start to meet them, then I usually feel like they will be a truly genuine person. On the other hand, if people don't show expression or give rude looks, then people tend to get the feeling that they are not interested and seem rude. I definitely feel that showing certain facial expressions when first meeting someone is important because it is what lets the person know what kind of person you seem to be. I don't think its right to judge people on first impressions; however, most people do naturally, so you might as well try to make it seem like you care and are interested when first meeting others.
I agree with Kelsey when she says, “it is hard for people not to judge one another on their physical appearance, but I blame this completely on our society and what it has become.” I cannot agree more with this statement because people nowadays only worry about how they look because society has made them so self-conscious of their physical appearance. People now think it is more important to be beautiful and “perfect” instead of having a beautiful personality. Also, Kelsey makes a good point when discussing first impressions. We should not judge people based on only what we first see, but some many of us do anyway. So as Kelsey says, we should try to make a good first impression with positive body and facial language.
I think that everyone should value and appreciate someone being themselves. People should not be afraid to let everyone know who they really are inside even if they are not perfect on the outside in some peoples eyes. Just because a person isn’t wearing all the trendiest clothes and doesn’t have a lot of friends doesn’t mean they are not a really nice and fun person on the inside. Not everyone takes the time to get to know someone on the inside based on what they look like on the outside. People should value who someone really is. Important qualities of a person, which we should also value, are being kind and respectful. If a person is rude and does not care about you at all, then most people would probably want to avoid them unless they act the same way. No one likes being disrespected. When I first meet someone, i usually notice how they act and what they say to greet meet. If they are completely rude and don’t say much, and I can tell they are not a nice person or they don’t like me! If I meet a new adult for the first time I find it kind of rude when they don’t shake my hand and just kind of ignore me. Overall, the qualities we should value most in a person are being kind, respectful, and being yourself around anyone. Being true to yourself is the best quality anyone could have.
I completely agree with everything Sara just had to say above. When she says "Not everyone takes the time to get to know someone on the inside based on what they look like on the outside." Unfortunately, this is so true and I feel that it is only happening more frequently due to the way our generation runs. What I mean when I say by the way our generation runs is that more people now don't take the time to get to really know people for who they are, instead they judge characters on appearances. Sara also makes a great point when she talks about how if people come off as "rude" then others will most likely not want to be around them in general at anytime. Overall, she makes a great points and it shows that the only really right thing you can do is to be yourself.
There is a large difference between what we should value in people, and what people do value. Prejudice is extremely common in today's society. People don't give others the chance to show them their personality before deciding whether or not they wish to be around them. This being said, the majority of people only look at the physical characteristics of a person before forming their opinion. Everything that people look for in each other is subjective. Different people look for different qualities based on what they believe is important in a person. There is no set characteristic we should value, as every person is unique and has a preference in what they value in someone. Personally, I look first at physical characteristics. Hair is the first thing I take notice of. It tells me right off the bat if they take time to care for themselves. This is important to me because I can’t stand people who are reluctant to wear even deodorant. However, after I take notice of physical characteristics, I prefer to get to know someone. Until you actually meet and get to know them, appearance is all you have to go off of.
I think that Ty brought up a good point. Prejudice is parlously common in society nowadays. Although prejudice always has been a problem, it is worse now more than ever. It is so simple to judge people on their physical appearance. It happens instinctively. We almost can’t help it. When we see someone not particularly attractive, our brain tends to trigger the amygdala and the insula. The amygdala is an information processor and has an important role in unconscious memory. It also is triggered when the brain senses fear to some extent. In a way the insula performs a similar function. The insula is the target of most signals that come from the body’s interior. Many emotions activate the insular cortex. Our brain is able to decide whether or not someone is attractive almost instantly, but it is how we interpret that information that we receive from our brain that determines future impulses which will then determine your personality. If you really try you can train your mind to not look for the physical attributes of others, but to dig deeper and find the good that is inside of them.
What should we value in other people? “We,” as in you and I? “We,” as in us, the honors class? “We,” as in the beloved citizens of the grand nation of America? Or “We”, as in the general human population on Earth? Good question. “We” should value a person’s personality above all else. A person’s personality is what defines them, it is the most important thing they can control in their life. It’s who they are, it’s what makes them all unique. Everyone has a different personality. I’m sure everyone has bad qualities mixed in with the good, but the good qualities should be of more value than the bad.
What qualities are important in a person? The most important qualities in a person are the qualities that help make the world a better place. Qualities such as being trustworthy, kind, caring, hardworking, compassionate, respectful, genuine, responsible, selfless, et cetera, are, in my opinion, some of the important qualities that a person can have. Sure, of course people may have more negative qualities, such as being greedy, selfish, a liar, a cheater... The list goes on and on, but those aren’t important to have like the positive qualities are. Then, there are the qualities of a person that are placed in the middle of this quality scale. Take the quality of being funny, for example. If someone’s funny, that’s fantastic. If someone isn’t funny, thats fine. No real loss there, being funny isn’t THAT important. You don’t need to be funny in order to be a great person. The more positive qualities are the more important ones because they contain a greater value.
What do you usually notice first about someone? I notice a persons looks before all else. Are they attractive? What color hair do they have? If I meet someone, most likely I’ll see them before I converse with them. Once I start talking to somebody is when I start to notice their personality. Are they nice? Are they funny? Are they a little too cocky for their own good? I notice these types of things next.
Does that matter or not? Although it really shouldn’t be, a person’s attractiveness does usually matter. People are more likely to talk to and be friends with people they find attractive, rather than people they find unattractive. It’s science. People are attracted to people who are attractive. Attractiveness isn’t nearly as important as a person’s personality, because why be friends with someone who’s a jerk just because they’re attractive? I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone just because I thought they were attractive. Yes, that has a small amount to do with my friend-making, but ninety-nine percent of the reason I choose to be friends with someone is because of their personality.
I believe that it is important to value people for who they are and what they believe in. Everyone is unique and special in their own way, and if we do not value them for it, then they might try to change who they are. Never change who you are, just be yourself. Some specific qualities that I personally value in other people are honesty and empathy. Honesty is so important to everything. First off, if you’re not honest with yourself on the inside, then you’re hiding or changing who you are on the outside. Also, if you’re not honest with the people around you, then they cannot trust you. Without trust, there is nothing. I really admire empathetic people who show compassion. Being able to understand how other people are feeling and why they feel they way they do is one thing. Being able to act upon these realizations is another thing. The people who can support their peers by simply understanding how other people feel and then doing something to make them feel better are the kind of people that I appreciate. Having qualities is important. They define who you are as a person. When first meeting someone, I tend to notice first how they act around other people – if they are comfortable meeting new people, if they feel awkward or shy, or if they have an interest or not. I think that how they feel around people matters. If they are the type of person that would rather be alone, I’d rather have them feel comfortable and leave them alone, or else the whole situation becomes awkward. It’s one thing if they’d rather be alone, but it’s another if they’re nervous. If someone is nervous about meeting new people, then I would be friendly and try to ease their nerves. If the person is bright and bubbly and likes talking to new people, then I’d be more than happy to talk to them. How to handle the situation depends on how the person you’re meeting for the first time feels. It all goes back to empathy.
“We” is a loosely defined term. For the purpose of this question, it will be assumed that “we” refers to the human population in general. In that case, there is a wide variety of qualities at the disposal of external judgement. Depending on an individual’s characteristics and life experiences, the qualities they value in others may vary. There are qualities that are considered important regardless of circumstances, such as virtues. Personified by ancient civilizations and accepted into the teachings of a variety of religions, virtues are positive traits that form the foundation for a good moral being. Virtues include compassion, determination, generosity, and forgiveness. These are all qualities that are necessary for optimal function of a modern human society, although lack in many situations. On a universal scale, it is likely that any prized trait is a variation of a virtue, Because these qualities are becoming increasingly more scarce, I believe that when found they should be valued. The thing that I first noticed about someone is their appearance, simply because a person’s appearance is a visual thing. I believe that this is a general human habit that is not necessarily judgemental, but certainly influential. Humans subconsciously make decisions based on what they find aesthetically desirable in many aspects of everyday life, including choices regarding cuisine, clothing, shelter, and accomodations. Appearance has to do with preference, and other humans are no exception. Although this pattern does not oblige by common virtue, it is a natural occurrence that has constant presence, even if not justifiable.
Every person has their own qualities. Some of them are good and others are bad but those qualities make everyone different. Having a positive attitude is a quality everybody should have. Having a positive attitude allows a person to look at another person and see the best in them. When someone has a negative attitude they tend to only focus on the flaws the other people show. Today most people focus on flaws of a person more than anything, which has caused our society to change for the worse. People try to cover up their flaws by acting like someone they’re not which causes people to lose sight of who they are or who they want to become. When I first meet someone I usually notice their body language or their tone of voice. If someone looks or sounds happy I assume that they look for the best in people where if someone has a negative attitude I feel like they’re focusing more on my appearance rather that my personality. Today’s society needs to become more accepting to the qualities and flaws of people, those qualities are what make us who we are and being who you are does matter.
I completely agree with Samantha on this one. If you have a positive outlook on things, imperfections will become irrelevant. Whereas if you tend to focus on the negative, you'll lose your chance of meeting someone that could become your best friend over a simple flaw. Our society today is so materialistic that someone has to fit certain standards for you to befriend them. If we all just focused on the good in people, and stopped being so judgmental over minuscule flaws, we'd have a much better way of life. No one should have to suppress or change who they are for another.
As people the most important thing we should value in a person is their character and integrity. Those two things really shape how a person is, along with their personality of course. Picking what should be valued in other people is like picking sand grains off the shore because there is such an immense amount of things that should be valued in others. There are many important qualities that depending on the person giving judgement would be viewed as important. In my personal opinion trustworthiness and honesty are quite significant to me as crucial traits in any person. If I do not have the ability to confide in someone and share my thoughts with them without believing that they are reliable then I would have difficulty viewing them positively. Likewise if a person had trouble being honest with others then I would not be able to believe anything that comes out of their mouth. What I first notice about someone when I see them initially is how they present themselves. What I mean by this is I notice what they look like, what type of clothes they wear, whether they hold themselves up proud or whether they slouch and try to just blend in. I do in fact believe that how a person presents themselves is quite substantial in how they are viewed initially, because it really is the first impression that counts. I do not think we should be this way in our judgement of people, but that is just our nature as humans to judge on first glance.
First of all, I think that we should value how a person treats other people above anything else. A person that treats others well is hard to come by nowadays and this rare quality should be valued by all. A person that treats others well does it because they know it is right and I believe we should recognize that this is a very valuable trait. A person that truly demonstrates this trait will treat others well not only when around certain people, but when they believe no one else is watching or judging. People that do this do not do it because it is right but because they think they will personally gain from their actions. However, the qualities I find most important in a person is humor and determination. Without humor a person’s can live a very serious and sad life. I am also a very sarcastic person that jokes around a lot and do not get along well with those who are too serious. With these factors considered I find humor very important. Also, I admire determination in a person. This is because it is a quality that is hard to attain and with this quality you can achieve almost anything in life. Often people are handed things in their lives and they don’t have the fire in themselves that comes with determination. It is pitiful to me when people just give up without trying. That is why I believe humor and determination are the two most important traits to me. However, sadly a person’s traits are not usually the first things I notice about them. Usually the first thing I notice about people is the manner in which they carry themselves and their overall appearance. I notice these traits first because I usually see the person before I am able to talk to them, smell them, etc. I honestly believe this matters because I believe you can tell you a lot about how the person feels about themselves and others from simply the way they carry themselves and look. For example, if a person if a person walks around with a slumped back, frown, and stained clothes most times it is because they think little of themselves or what others think about the
I agree with Harold when he says that we should value how people treat their peers. He talks about the rarity and importance of this trait, and I completely agree with him. I liked how he pointed out that to truly demonstrate this trait you must not only treat your peers well when you are with them individually but when surrounded by people who could potentially be judging you. Although I am not sure I agree with the qualities Harold thinks are most important, humor and determination, I do admit that these qualities are good to have in a person. Humor helps to make a stressful life more relaxed and upbeat. Having friends that have this quality helps to loosen the mood and lets people joke around. Determination also is a very important quality to have in a person. People with determination do not give up when things get difficult, they strive to get better and work harder when life throws them hurdles. Without determination a person has little willpower to succeed and strive to get better. Harold talks about how the first thing we usually notice in a person is their appearance and how they hold themselves. It really does matter how a person looks because it shows how they look upon themselves. If a person doesn’t hold themselves tall and proud then I have trouble not judging them initially.
We should value the integrity of other people. When qualities such as good attitudes towards life and thoughtful perspectives are shown, the person has integrity. When I meet someone, I look towards how they act during certain situations. If they react poorly under pressure, then they lack integrity. Another quality that I deem important is self control. The influence of drugs and sex is very prominent in today’s society. I immediately notice whether or not someone has self control or not. The first thing I notice about someone matters a lot. The first quality I notice tells a lot about who the person is and how they act.
I agree with Nevin, you should pay attention to how someone acts to see who they really are. Self control is also a great quality to have, if someone lacks self control, would you want to hang around them if they have no self control whatsoever?
A lot of people have different qualities they value in another person. Some might find a persons physical appearance a good quality, or their popularity. For me that isn't what is important. Honesty is probably one of the most valuable qualities in a person. It allows you to have trust in someone because a dishonest could easily let you down. It is very difficult to build a friendship with a dishonest person also. Another quality I admire in another person would be determination. If you have a drive to do something, and have higher goals in life, I am going to respect you. In my opinion, being around lazy individuals isn't very enjoyable. If you give little effort into what you do and slump around, with a negative attitude, I am not going to have any respect for you. The people who have a drive to reach their goals usually have more of a positive attitude, which definitely makes them more pleasant to be around. First impressions are also very important when meeting a person, but can throw you off at times. The first thing I and a majority of people notice is an individuals physical appearance. If a person looks attractive on the outside, doesn't mean they have a caring personality too. Judging by physical appearance is what throws most people off. But some people can get thrown off by other things too. When you first meet someone, they usually don't act completely like themselves. So maybe you get the first impression that someone is very shy and timid. These qualities might discourage you from becoming friends with that individual. Sometimes you have to spend more time with a person until they can open up and be their self. I would say my first impressions aren't extremely important because once in awhile you can get thrown off by the way they are acting until they are comfortable around you.
I really like how Lea points out that although first impressions are very important, they can also throw you off many times. She states, "When you first meet someone, they usually don't act completely like themselves. So maybe you get the first impression that someone is actually very shy and timid. These qualities might discourage you from becoming friends with that individual". I agree completely that sometimes first impressions aren't accurate, and could discourage you from forming a friendship. This shows that you shouldn't base your opinion on someone just by your first impression on them.
“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.” – Laozi Chinese Philosopher
In our society, we are told what is in and what is out, what’s “cool”, how to act, what to wear, and so on. Despite all of this, it is impressive to be an individual who is able to look beyond the popular opinion and just be who they are. That is something we should value in a person. Some important qualities a person should have are compassion, kindness, generosity, and respect. The first thing I usually notice about a person is how they treat others. If they are friendly and warmhearted towards the people they are around, it’s not difficult to see. It’s just as easy to see if they are rude and unkind. This matters because if someone is kind to me I will be kind in return. If an individual treats everyone with respect and follows the golden rule of treating others the way you would want to be treated, they will gain my respect in return.
The most important thing about a person is their character. Important qualities in a person’s character are compassion, honor, courage, and the ability to stand up for what’s right. Usually the first thing you notice about someone is the way they look. Their clothes, hair, and eyes. All of these things make a first impression. The way a person looks should not matter. No matter their hair, eye color, clothes, or shoes, all that we should care about is their character. If a person has nice clothes, that doesn’t make them a nice person, and vice versa. If a person has good character, you can count on them to do the right thing. We live in a world where lots of people care about your clothes, or how you do you hair. We need to remember that we should judge people on their character, not their appearance. It is like the saying, "Don't judge a book by its cover." You can't judge someones character by just looking at the outside. You need to look deeper. A persons character is what we should value.
I agree with Emily, the first thing people notice about other people is their appearance. The way someone looks on the outside should not be as big of a deal as it is. Nice clothes do not make a person nice. I also agree that character is the main thing we should focus on in a person, but sadly in today’s world character is the least of what we focus on. People need to be able to look at a person's character before they make assumptions about that person.
What is on the inside is what mainly matters, but do we always pay attention to that? Judging people on how they look isn't right, we should judge people by there actions and words. When we first see people we usually automatically judge them by how they look, how they dress, how they talk etc… In my opinion it doesn't really matter what is on the outside but what is within. If someone is really nice but not the best looking, should you not be friends with them? I think if you like them as a person then be their friend. If someone dresses really strange but is friendly, then you should talk to them. In the novel “Speak!” Heather thinks that Melinda is depressed and a pull down, but its not true Melinda just doesn't want to do some of the things that Heather does.
I disagree with David Nelson with he discusses how Heather believed Melinda was depressed based on looks. Melinda was depressed; she did not only “look” depressed. Also, Heather had taken the whole year to get to know Melinda. This was not a quick pre-judgment determined by Melinda’s choice of clothes or her scabby lips. Even though Heather’s choice was not loyal or even nice, she based her decision off Melinda’s “reputation” and not her appearance. Overall, I think it was a bad example choice by David.
We should value kindness, charisma, cheeriness, and generosity. All of these qualities are important to a person, but also certain qualities like loyalty and pride should be important, too. These traits and qualities all are important because you generally want to surround yourself with people who accept you and will stand by you in times of need. Unfortunately Melinda did not have any friends who displayed these qualities. Rachel, Ivy, and Nicole avoided her because they felt betrayed, but they also never gave Melinda the chance to explain. Heather, on the other hand, was only using Melinda for popularity, and as soon as she found out Melinda was holding her back, Heather dropped her like a hot potato. Honestly, the qualities that should be valued most are the qualities that will allow you to carry on a healthy relationship. I generally notice someone’s appearance first, and I do believe this matters a lot. First impressions give you a quick look at who the person really is. If I am at a special event, and an older girl is wearing no makeup and put no time into her hair, you can determine one of two things: either she is emotionally challenged, or she is feministic and does not believe in dressing up because someone “should love me for who I am instead of how I look.” When encountering this type of girl, I usually play along with sympathies to calm her emotions, or try to avoid her if she looks as if she is about to go off into a feminist rant. If a guy approaches me wearing a shirt with a violent context and looks like an overall creep, I generally do not get to know him any better. Even though everything I just wrote sounds incredibly shallow, I do believe how a person looks reflects who they are. True, someone may be having a bad day, or look inviting and warm and be truly evil like Andy Evans, but that is why this type of judging is called first look or impression. The only way to see if your predispositions are correct is to actually speak to the person for yourself.
16thomsonz Re: Speak: 6: Value and Qualities
ReplyDeleteWe should value who the other person is. As individuals we like to be valued and respected. The people in life who aren't valued are usually the people who lack the qualities that we find important. The first thing we usually notice with an individual is their appearance. The appearance shouldn't and really doesn't matter, but often people make it matter. Then these judged individuals don’t feel valued and the cycle repeats over and over again, and each time their appearance gets worse and worse, and they are valued less and less.
If we value who the other person is the outcome will change dramatically. If someone feels valued, qualities like honesty, trust, and security will be apparent. When those qualities show, relationships become healthy and then the other person feels valued. When that person is noticed, they will see the friendly smile and the way the person is carrying himself, and however they look won't matter, because they see the value in that individual. So, rather than the negative cycle I mentioned above, there is now a positive cycle that all started with just valuing who an individual is.
Just to reiterate and conclude this easy: We don't need to valued specific aspects of individual, we just need to value that individual. When that person is valued they will show practically all the qualities that an individual find important. If the first step is done correctly, the negativity i the third and fourth will become null and void.
Nowadays, in my personal opinion, society focuses on the wrong set of values and qualities in a person. People focus too much on the materialistic qualities and values of others, rather than what’s really important. We should value ones company and attitude that, in turn, makes us a better person. Instead of focusing on a persons physical qualities, we should pay attention to what’s inside of them. Qualities such as loving, supporting, and optimistic are ones that we should look for in others. Personally, when I meet someone for the first time, I recognize if they are a person that I’d be happy to be around. If they make me feel good and rub off on me in a positive way, then I’ll gladly spend more time with them.
ReplyDeleteWhat you notice first about a person does matter, depending on what you look for first. If you look for physical characteristics first, then that doesn’t matter. A person’s appearance doesn’t reflect what their personality is like. If you first notice ones personality, then that is very important. Though, sometimes you have to look even deeper than someones personality. If they have a “bad attitude” it may be influenced by something not going right in their life. In conclusion, judging someone before you get to know them is not a wise choice to make; and it’s important to choose to like a person based on meaningful inner characteristics.
Shannon has a good point when you say, “ A person’s appearance doesn’t reflect what their personality is like.” Many people often judge a person or don’t really want to get to them just because what they look like. Before you should really decide if you like a person or not, you should get to know their personality; find out who they really are. As Shannon said, “it’s important to choose to like a person based on meaningful inner characteristics.” I agree with you one hundred percent! Basing someones personality on how they look could give you the wrong impression of how they really are. You may be right, but get to know someone first. First impressions may be important, but it is the future impressions that make other people see who you really are inside
DeleteI believe that we should value who people really are and accept them for being their own individual self. I do not think its fair to judge people on the value of appearances. I understand that it is hard for people not to judge one another on their physical appearance, but I blame this completely on our society and what it has become. In the society we are living in, everyone is expected to be and look "perfect" thanks to the continuous media pressures, social networking, celebrities, and pressures from our very own peers. I however, do not think this is right. I think we should value one another on being themselves and expressing their own personality.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, I think the most important qualities in someone is that they are a nice and genuine person. Other important qualities include honesty, being respectful, true, and friendly to everyone. I find one of the worst qualities in people is when they try to be or act like someone they are not. When I first meet someone, the first thing I normally notice is the facial expressions they give. If people look happy and smile while I first start to meet them, then I usually feel like they will be a truly genuine person. On the other hand, if people don't show expression or give rude looks, then people tend to get the feeling that they are not interested and seem rude. I definitely feel that showing certain facial expressions when first meeting someone is important because it is what lets the person know what kind of person you seem to be. I don't think its right to judge people on first impressions; however, most people do naturally, so you might as well try to make it seem like you care and are interested when first meeting others.
I agree with Kelsey when she says, “it is hard for people not to judge one another on their physical appearance, but I blame this completely on our society and what it has become.” I cannot agree more with this statement because people nowadays only worry about how they look because society has made them so self-conscious of their physical appearance. People now think it is more important to be beautiful and “perfect” instead of having a beautiful personality. Also, Kelsey makes a good point when discussing first impressions. We should not judge people based on only what we first see, but some many of us do anyway. So as Kelsey says, we should try to make a good first impression with positive body and facial language.
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ReplyDeleteI think that everyone should value and appreciate someone being themselves. People should not be afraid to let everyone know who they really are inside even if they are not perfect on the outside in some peoples eyes. Just because a person isn’t wearing all the trendiest clothes and doesn’t have a lot of friends doesn’t mean they are not a really nice and fun person on the inside. Not everyone takes the time to get to know someone on the inside based on what they look like on the outside. People should value who someone really is. Important qualities of a person, which we should also value, are being kind and respectful. If a person is rude and does not care about you at all, then most people would probably want to avoid them unless they act the same way. No one likes being disrespected. When I first meet someone, i usually notice how they act and what they say to greet meet. If they are completely rude and don’t say much, and I can tell they are not a nice person or they don’t like me! If I meet a new adult for the first time I find it kind of rude when they don’t shake my hand and just kind of ignore me. Overall, the qualities we should value most in a person are being kind, respectful, and being yourself around anyone. Being true to yourself is the best quality anyone could have.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with everything Sara just had to say above. When she says "Not everyone takes the time to get to know someone on the inside based on what they look like on the outside." Unfortunately, this is so true and I feel that it is only happening more frequently due to the way our generation runs. What I mean when I say by the way our generation runs is that more people now don't take the time to get to really know people for who they are, instead they judge characters on appearances. Sara also makes a great point when she talks about how if people come off as "rude" then others will most likely not want to be around them in general at anytime. Overall, she makes a great points and it shows that the only really right thing you can do is to be yourself.
DeleteThere is a large difference between what we should value in people, and what people do value. Prejudice is extremely common in today's society. People don't give others the chance to show them their personality before deciding whether or not they wish to be around them. This being said, the majority of people only look at the physical characteristics of a person before forming their opinion.
ReplyDeleteEverything that people look for in each other is subjective. Different people look for different qualities based on what they believe is important in a person. There is no set characteristic we should value, as every person is unique and has a preference in what they value in someone. Personally, I look first at physical characteristics. Hair is the first thing I take notice of. It tells me right off the bat if they take time to care for themselves. This is important to me because I can’t stand people who are reluctant to wear even deodorant. However, after I take notice of physical characteristics, I prefer to get to know someone. Until you actually meet and get to know them, appearance is all you have to go off of.
I think that Ty brought up a good point. Prejudice is parlously common in society nowadays. Although prejudice always has been a problem, it is worse now more than ever. It is so simple to judge people on their physical appearance. It happens instinctively. We almost can’t help it. When we see someone not particularly attractive, our brain tends to trigger the amygdala and the insula. The amygdala is an information processor and has an important role in unconscious memory. It also is triggered when the brain senses fear to some extent. In a way the insula performs a similar function. The insula is the target of most signals that come from the body’s interior. Many emotions activate the insular cortex. Our brain is able to decide whether or not someone is attractive almost instantly, but it is how we interpret that information that we receive from our brain that determines future impulses which will then determine your personality. If you really try you can train your mind to not look for the physical attributes of others, but to dig deeper and find the good that is inside of them.
DeleteWhat should we value in other people?
ReplyDelete“We,” as in you and I? “We,” as in us, the honors class? “We,” as in the beloved citizens of the grand nation of America? Or “We”, as in the general human population on Earth? Good question. “We” should value a person’s personality above all else. A person’s personality is what defines them, it is the most important thing they can control in their life. It’s who they are, it’s what makes them all unique. Everyone has a different personality. I’m sure everyone has bad qualities mixed in with the good, but the good qualities should be of more value than the bad.
What qualities are important in a person?
The most important qualities in a person are the qualities that help make the world a better place. Qualities such as being trustworthy, kind, caring, hardworking, compassionate, respectful, genuine, responsible, selfless, et cetera, are, in my opinion, some of the important qualities that a person can have. Sure, of course people may have more negative qualities, such as being greedy, selfish, a liar, a cheater... The list goes on and on, but those aren’t important to have like the positive qualities are.
Then, there are the qualities of a person that are placed in the middle of this quality scale. Take the quality of being funny, for example. If someone’s funny, that’s fantastic. If someone isn’t funny, thats fine. No real loss there, being funny isn’t THAT important. You don’t need to be funny in order to be a great person.
The more positive qualities are the more important ones because they contain a greater value.
What do you usually notice first about someone?
I notice a persons looks before all else. Are they attractive? What color hair do they have? If I meet someone, most likely I’ll see them before I converse with them. Once I start talking to somebody is when I start to notice their personality. Are they nice? Are they funny? Are they a little too cocky for their own good? I notice these types of things next.
Does that matter or not?
Although it really shouldn’t be, a person’s attractiveness does usually matter. People are more likely to talk to and be friends with people they find attractive, rather than people they find unattractive. It’s science. People are attracted to people who are attractive. Attractiveness isn’t nearly as important as a person’s personality, because why be friends with someone who’s a jerk just because they’re attractive? I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone just because I thought they were attractive. Yes, that has a small amount to do with my friend-making, but ninety-nine percent of the reason I choose to be friends with someone is because of their personality.
I believe that it is important to value people for who they are and what they believe in. Everyone is unique and special in their own way, and if we do not value them for it, then they might try to change who they are. Never change who you are, just be yourself.
ReplyDeleteSome specific qualities that I personally value in other people are honesty and empathy. Honesty is so important to everything. First off, if you’re not honest with yourself on the inside, then you’re hiding or changing who you are on the outside. Also, if you’re not honest with the people around you, then they cannot trust you. Without trust, there is nothing.
I really admire empathetic people who show compassion. Being able to understand how other people are feeling and why they feel they way they do is one thing. Being able to act upon these realizations is another thing. The people who can support their peers by simply understanding how other people feel and then doing something to make them feel better are the kind of people that I appreciate. Having qualities is important. They define who you are as a person.
When first meeting someone, I tend to notice first how they act around other people – if they are comfortable meeting new people, if they feel awkward or shy, or if they have an interest or not. I think that how they feel around people matters. If they are the type of person that would rather be alone, I’d rather have them feel comfortable and leave them alone, or else the whole situation becomes awkward. It’s one thing if they’d rather be alone, but it’s another if they’re nervous. If someone is nervous about meeting new people, then I would be friendly and try to ease their nerves. If the person is bright and bubbly and likes talking to new people, then I’d be more than happy to talk to them. How to handle the situation depends on how the person you’re meeting for the first time feels. It all goes back to empathy.
“We” is a loosely defined term. For the purpose of this question, it will be assumed that “we” refers to the human population in general. In that case, there is a wide variety of qualities at the disposal of external judgement. Depending on an individual’s characteristics and life experiences, the qualities they value in others may vary. There are qualities that are considered important regardless of circumstances, such as virtues. Personified by ancient civilizations and accepted into the teachings of a variety of religions, virtues are positive traits that form the foundation for a good moral being. Virtues include compassion, determination, generosity, and forgiveness. These are all qualities that are necessary for optimal function of a modern human society, although lack in many situations. On a universal scale, it is likely that any prized trait is a variation of a virtue, Because these qualities are becoming increasingly more scarce, I believe that when found they should be valued.
ReplyDeleteThe thing that I first noticed about someone is their appearance, simply because a person’s appearance is a visual thing. I believe that this is a general human habit that is not necessarily judgemental, but certainly influential. Humans subconsciously make decisions based on what they find aesthetically desirable in many aspects of everyday life, including choices regarding cuisine, clothing, shelter, and accomodations. Appearance has to do with preference, and other humans are no exception. Although this pattern does not oblige by common virtue, it is a natural occurrence that has constant presence, even if not justifiable.
Every person has their own qualities. Some of them are good and others are bad but those qualities make everyone different. Having a positive attitude is a quality everybody should have. Having a positive attitude allows a person to look at another person and see the best in them. When someone has a negative attitude they tend to only focus on the flaws the other people show. Today most people focus on flaws of a person more than anything, which has caused our society to change for the worse. People try to cover up their flaws by acting like someone they’re not which causes people to lose sight of who they are or who they want to become. When I first meet someone I usually notice their body language or their tone of voice. If someone looks or sounds happy I assume that they look for the best in people where if someone has a negative attitude I feel like they’re focusing more on my appearance rather that my personality. Today’s society needs to become more accepting to the qualities and flaws of people, those qualities are what make us who we are and being who you are does matter.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with Samantha on this one. If you have a positive outlook on things, imperfections will become irrelevant. Whereas if you tend to focus on the negative, you'll lose your chance of meeting someone that could become your best friend over a simple flaw. Our society today is so materialistic that someone has to fit certain standards for you to befriend them. If we all just focused on the good in people, and stopped being so judgmental over minuscule flaws, we'd have a much better way of life. No one should have to suppress or change who they are for another.
DeleteAs people the most important thing we should value in a person is their character and integrity. Those two things really shape how a person is, along with their personality of course. Picking what should be valued in other people is like picking sand grains off the shore because there is such an immense amount of things that should be valued in others.
ReplyDeleteThere are many important qualities that depending on the person giving judgement would be viewed as important. In my personal opinion trustworthiness and honesty are quite significant to me as crucial traits in any person. If I do not have the ability to confide in someone and share my thoughts with them without believing that they are reliable then I would have difficulty viewing them positively. Likewise if a person had trouble being honest with others then I would not be able to believe anything that comes out of their mouth.
What I first notice about someone when I see them initially is how they present themselves. What I mean by this is I notice what they look like, what type of clothes they wear, whether they hold themselves up proud or whether they slouch and try to just blend in. I do in fact believe that how a person presents themselves is quite substantial in how they are viewed initially, because it really is the first impression that counts. I do not think we should be this way in our judgement of people, but that is just our nature as humans to judge on first glance.
First of all, I think that we should value how a person treats other people above anything else. A person that treats others well is hard to come by nowadays and this rare quality should be valued by all. A person that treats others well does it because they know it is right and I believe we should recognize that this is a very valuable trait. A person that truly demonstrates this trait will treat others well not only when around certain people, but when they believe no one else is watching or judging. People that do this do not do it because it is right but because they think they will personally gain from their actions. However, the qualities I find most important in a person is humor and determination. Without humor a person’s can live a very serious and sad life. I am also a very sarcastic person that jokes around a lot and do not get along well with those who are too serious. With these factors considered I find humor very important. Also, I admire determination in a person. This is because it is a quality that is hard to attain and with this quality you can achieve almost anything in life. Often people are handed things in their lives and they don’t have the fire in themselves that comes with determination. It is pitiful to me when people just give up without trying. That is why I believe humor and determination are the two most important traits to me. However, sadly a person’s traits are not usually the first things I notice about them. Usually the first thing I notice about people is the manner in which they carry themselves and their overall appearance. I notice these traits first because I usually see the person before I am able to talk to them, smell them, etc. I honestly believe this matters because I believe you can tell you a lot about how the person feels about themselves and others from simply the way they carry themselves and look. For example, if a person if a person walks around with a slumped back, frown, and stained clothes most times it is because they think little of themselves or what others think about the
ReplyDeleteI agree with Harold when he says that we should value how people treat their peers. He talks about the rarity and importance of this trait, and I completely agree with him. I liked how he pointed out that to truly demonstrate this trait you must not only treat your peers well when you are with them individually but when surrounded by people who could potentially be judging you. Although I am not sure I agree with the qualities Harold thinks are most important, humor and determination, I do admit that these qualities are good to have in a person. Humor helps to make a stressful life more relaxed and upbeat. Having friends that have this quality helps to loosen the mood and lets people joke around. Determination also is a very important quality to have in a person. People with determination do not give up when things get difficult, they strive to get better and work harder when life throws them hurdles. Without determination a person has little willpower to succeed and strive to get better. Harold talks about how the first thing we usually notice in a person is their appearance and how they hold themselves. It really does matter how a person looks because it shows how they look upon themselves. If a person doesn’t hold themselves tall and proud then I have trouble not judging them initially.
DeleteWe should value the integrity of other people. When qualities such as good attitudes towards life and thoughtful perspectives are shown, the person has integrity. When I meet someone, I look towards how they act during certain situations. If they react poorly under pressure, then they lack integrity. Another quality that I deem important is self control. The influence of drugs and sex is very prominent in today’s society. I immediately notice whether or not someone has self control or not. The first thing I notice about someone matters a lot. The first quality I notice tells a lot about who the person is and how they act.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Nevin, you should pay attention to how someone acts to see who they really are. Self control is also a great quality to have, if someone lacks self control, would you want to hang around them if they have no self control whatsoever?
DeleteA lot of people have different qualities they value in another person. Some might find a persons physical appearance a good quality, or their popularity. For me that isn't what is important. Honesty is probably one of the most valuable qualities in a person. It allows you to have trust in someone because a dishonest could easily let you down. It is very difficult to build a friendship with a dishonest person also. Another quality I admire in another person would be determination. If you have a drive to do something, and have higher goals in life, I am going to respect you. In my opinion, being around lazy individuals isn't very enjoyable. If you give little effort into what you do and slump around, with a negative attitude, I am not going to have any respect for you. The people who have a drive to reach their goals usually have more of a positive attitude, which definitely makes them more pleasant to be around. First impressions are also very important when meeting a person, but can throw you off at times. The first thing I and a majority of people notice is an individuals physical appearance. If a person looks attractive on the outside, doesn't mean they have a caring personality too. Judging by physical appearance is what throws most people off. But some people can get thrown off by other things too. When you first meet someone, they usually don't act completely like themselves. So maybe you get the first impression that someone is very shy and timid. These qualities might discourage you from becoming friends with that individual. Sometimes you have to spend more time with a person until they can open up and be their self. I would say my first impressions aren't extremely important because once in awhile you can get thrown off by the way they are acting until they are comfortable around you.
ReplyDeleteI really like how Lea points out that although first impressions are very important, they can also throw you off many times. She states, "When you first meet someone, they usually don't act completely like themselves. So maybe you get the first impression that someone is actually very shy and timid. These qualities might discourage you from becoming friends with that individual". I agree completely that sometimes first impressions aren't accurate, and could discourage you from forming a friendship. This shows that you shouldn't base your opinion on someone just by your first impression on them.
Delete“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.”
ReplyDelete– Laozi Chinese Philosopher
In our society, we are told what is in and what is out, what’s “cool”, how to act, what to wear, and so on. Despite all of this, it is impressive to be an individual who is able to look beyond the popular opinion and just be who they are. That is something we should value in a person. Some important qualities a person should have are compassion, kindness, generosity, and respect. The first thing I usually notice about a person is how they treat others. If they are friendly and warmhearted towards the people they are around, it’s not difficult to see. It’s just as easy to see if they are rude and unkind. This matters because if someone is kind to me I will be kind in return. If an individual treats everyone with respect and follows the golden rule of treating others the way you would want to be treated, they will gain my respect in return.
The most important thing about a person is their character. Important qualities in a person’s character are compassion, honor, courage, and the ability to stand up for what’s right. Usually the first thing you notice about someone is the way they look. Their clothes, hair, and eyes. All of these things make a first impression. The way a person looks should not matter. No matter their hair, eye color, clothes, or shoes, all that we should care about is their character. If a person has nice clothes, that doesn’t make them a nice person, and vice versa. If a person has good character, you can count on them to do the right thing. We live in a world where lots of people care about your clothes, or how you do you hair. We need to remember that we should judge people on their character, not their appearance. It is like the saying, "Don't judge a book by its cover." You can't judge someones character by just looking at the outside. You need to look deeper. A persons character is what we should value.
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DeleteI agree with Emily, the first thing people notice about other people is their appearance. The way someone looks on the outside should not be as big of a deal as it is. Nice clothes do not make a person nice. I also agree that character is the main thing we should focus on in a person, but sadly in today’s world character is the least of what we focus on. People need to be able to look at a person's character before they make assumptions about that person.
What is on the inside is what mainly matters, but do we always pay attention to that? Judging people on how they look isn't right, we should judge people by there actions and words. When we first see people we usually automatically judge them by how they look, how they dress, how they talk etc… In my opinion it doesn't really matter what is on the outside but what is within. If someone is really nice but not the best looking, should you not be friends with them? I think if you like them as a person then be their friend. If someone dresses really strange but is friendly, then you should talk to them. In the novel “Speak!” Heather thinks that Melinda is depressed and a pull down, but its not true Melinda just doesn't want to do some of the things that Heather does.
ReplyDeleteI disagree with David Nelson with he discusses how Heather believed Melinda was depressed based on looks. Melinda was depressed; she did not only “look” depressed. Also, Heather had taken the whole year to get to know Melinda. This was not a quick pre-judgment determined by Melinda’s choice of clothes or her scabby lips. Even though Heather’s choice was not loyal or even nice, she based her decision off Melinda’s “reputation” and not her appearance. Overall, I think it was a bad example choice by David.
DeleteWe should value kindness, charisma, cheeriness, and generosity. All of these qualities are important to a person, but also certain qualities like loyalty and pride should be important, too. These traits and qualities all are important because you generally want to surround yourself with people who accept you and will stand by you in times of need. Unfortunately Melinda did not have any friends who displayed these qualities. Rachel, Ivy, and Nicole avoided her because they felt betrayed, but they also never gave Melinda the chance to explain. Heather, on the other hand, was only using Melinda for popularity, and as soon as she found out Melinda was holding her back, Heather dropped her like a hot potato. Honestly, the qualities that should be valued most are the qualities that will allow you to carry on a healthy relationship.
ReplyDeleteI generally notice someone’s appearance first, and I do believe this matters a lot. First impressions give you a quick look at who the person really is. If I am at a special event, and an older girl is wearing no makeup and put no time into her hair, you can determine one of two things: either she is emotionally challenged, or she is feministic and does not believe in dressing up because someone “should love me for who I am instead of how I look.” When encountering this type of girl, I usually play along with sympathies to calm her emotions, or try to avoid her if she looks as if she is about to go off into a feminist rant. If a guy approaches me wearing a shirt with a violent context and looks like an overall creep, I generally do not get to know him any better. Even though everything I just wrote sounds incredibly shallow, I do believe how a person looks reflects who they are. True, someone may be having a bad day, or look inviting and warm and be truly evil like Andy Evans, but that is why this type of judging is called first look or impression. The only way to see if your predispositions are correct is to actually speak to the person for yourself.